remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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