Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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