But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
