and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
