If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
