Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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