dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
be right there i have to get my cape
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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