There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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