if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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