Can Purell be used as lube?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
