I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
