dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
