I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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