i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
