let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
