My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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