She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
