chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just had sex on a roof
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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