i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
