I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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