My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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