Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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