dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
