Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
