My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
