Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I looked at my own cervix.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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