Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize