Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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