We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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