Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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