apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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