Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
