im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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