Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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