weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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