Screwed.edu
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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