Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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