Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
