Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
