he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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