I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.