In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?