Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.