So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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