My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
did i just pee glitter
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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