"it" just moved
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You coming home soon, man?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants