I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Panties = found
Randomize
