i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
please don't ironically join a cult
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
