Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
