Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
