HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
