So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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