Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize