Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
