i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i dont even know how to be here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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