I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
