OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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