Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
