I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
