If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I understand Curling. That high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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