If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
