Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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