dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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