While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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