I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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