This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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