They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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