the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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