my mouth tastes like poor choices
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You were trust falling into bushes
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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