Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
